Anonymous asked:

assassin's creed: unity

deadsmondmiles answered:

i’m pretty sure this game is a sick joke or smthing in which ubisoft wanted 2 make a social experiment and see how people would respond if they presented the most disappointing, sexist, boring portrayal of a historic time period theyve ever considered in their career. this is the game where they clearly stopped giving a shit like i mean i lost a lil bit of hope at revelations but i think now the headquarters probably reeks of axe body spray and they may or may not be replacing the ubisoft logo with a monster energy drink motif.

french guy (but not ACtually french because french people sound fuckin silly we cant make a game with him havin a french accent are you for real lmfao) and his 3 cloned teenage mutant ninja whitebreads roam paris just chillin out on the notre dame, a building that took a full year for several professional trained teams to reproduce on a perfect scale. unfortunately none of them are women, because as we all know, thats just too fuckin hard.

so i guess you can like play as arno + the backstreet boys with ur friends but ironically i guess ubi wanted to demonstrate how entirely interchangeable these boring ass characters are because u dont actually ever get to play as anyone but arno. so thats cool. theres a lady called elise (no. no i dont mean the one from ac liberation. ANOTHER dark haired french white woman with a red sash and a brown coat. haha) that you probably have to save, and can someone please fucking chop off 2 of my fingers if she DOESNT end up dying at some point because ill literally donate those fingers to ubisoft so they can shove them up their ass for making this fucking game in the first place. goodbye

thepacificrimjob:

vanillastopbath:

thepacificrimjob:

back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found

guess

okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms. 

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nialllhoran:

people need to realize that it is okay to still like an artist or person after they’ve fucked up like no one is telling you to stop stanning for them completely, just as long as you accept that they were wrong instead of blindly defending them

I wouldn’t tell my nine-year-old self anything! I’ve seen Back to the Future enough to know that you don’t mess with time. Nice try, bro.
Chris Pratt, responding to “What if you could tell your nine-year-old self, “One day, you’ll be starring in a film based on these comics you love?” - Rolling Stone, Issue 1215. (via captainsassmerica)

gradientlair:

christel-thoughts:

When you see me show me your bachelors, show me your masters. That’s the best thing you can do for me, as my fan.

YAAAAASS NICKI. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS

i haven’t found the source video yet.

I love the way Nicki encourages people with education. I’ve seen her ask about report cards on Twitter and tell young people to bring their C’s up to B’s and B’s up to A’s. And this quote is too awesome. ❤

Reblogged from assbutt-in-the-garrison

It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-11 store. So, you can sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America.

Violet Rose (via c-icatrix)

This is one of my favorite quotes about sexualization/objectification vs autonomy of female bodies bc it’s so succinct

(via platonicsbeforeerotics)